is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
