my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
PANTIES FOUND
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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