my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
