That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
