you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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