walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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