your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
