Ambien. No doubt about it.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
