You really coming over, don't trick.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
