she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
