garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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