Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
