Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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