Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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