This girl is more easily done than said...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
