Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
