You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
