Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
