I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize