Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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