a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize