I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize