Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
