I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
