dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there was a trapeze. enough said
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
