The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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