i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
