You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
