Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
