u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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