You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
