problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
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i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
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soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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