Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
