we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
