I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
