there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
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its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
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I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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