Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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