so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
