A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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