11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring