ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
