She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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