I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we're making bets on your personal life
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
