okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
