...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
