I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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