Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
