The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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