grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize