East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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