Dual....:-)
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
