1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
