what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
