honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
