First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
