It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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