Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
