All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
