it wasn't lemon gatorade
you guys were way drunker than both of me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
