feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
