My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
