We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
