duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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