I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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