Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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