i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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