You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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