...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
